When the way people treat you upfront is different from the way they treated you behind your back, it all means you are nothing to them. Hypocrite or Honesty? Longing for some happiness, but I ended up disappointed.
This morning, I did something bad but it was for the benefit of others. I promised to do something and tell that person what she was writing about in private. Thought it could be good news to share to that person, but in fact, after turning the pages, I found myself heart-broken, lost my trust & really disappointed. Is that the result of reading other people's privacy or just mere honesty of one's opinion of you? I am confused, but at the same time, really upset. How do you feel about yourself? Knowing exactly who you are but unknowingly to others you are considered a negative person too? Confused??? Okay... How about this...? What do you think of me...?
Noisy, irritating & kaypoh
AM I? Yes, of course I think so too...
I realised that "behind the scenes", I am being bitchified... They are so nice in front of you, then suddenly, you learnt that they talked ill about you... I am so upset... I am friendly, maybe TOO FRIENDLY to the EXTREME... and I didn't realised that my friendliness is a result of "noisy, irritating & kaypoh".... Because of this, I suddenly lose trust on people... Yes, words can definitely hurt me easily... Suddenly, I don't believe in people anymore... Not even the people so dear to me... Yes, they might be jealous of me, and maybe my whole bubbly personality is a disgust to anyone... Maybe I am too "DramaQueen"... People just don't like a REAL person...
"Everybody talks bad about somebody
And never realises how it affects somebody
And you bet it won't be forgotten
Envy is the only thing it could be"
Fine.. If that's the way you want it to be...
Envy.
Okay, I came from a family of full musical talents. I really envy them. Everybody knows I'm entering Singapore Idol, and I'll be an embarrassment... My cousins can sing, my uncles & aunties can sing... MY SIS CAN SING TOO! Oh, holy shit! EVERYBODY CAN SING, jannah... yes, yes, yes... true... but, with the type of voice I have, eurgh! lets not even mention pitching... I am so useless... that also from Ghaz's comment... yes, i absolutely can never do anything... practise eh? With the type of household I have, I am not used to singing/performing in front of people... except public speaking (which I had done lotsa times in sec sch) & band performance (which was way back in pri sch)... No matter how much I love the stage, singing in front of people is not my forte... Scaring people away... Oh well, let's say, I'm very very weak...
pull that trigger now!
