Believe me, love has greater and deeper meaning but when you're in deep shit, you feel there's no way to turn around and yell, "It's all over!"
Being in an emotional turmoil is hard enough... But with a small crack in the heart, it just so hard to soothe that crack... Just a tiny crack can cause so much pain... A heart ache is equivalent to a disaster... A disaster is equivalent to life lost...
In this lesson, I learnt that "You have the right to like someone but whether he/she wants to like you back, it depends... You cannot force someone to like you back..."
Obviously, the more I want to let it go, the lesser I want to let it go... The more I want to avoid, the more I missed him...
I felt it was my fault to get myself in this deep shit... Everytime I fall in love, I fall out of love... If I fall in love and I had the love back, I will lose the love... Everytime I like someone, he will disappear... Talking about jinx, I am one!
Disaster, all I know, I am one! Some people just don't care about falling in/out of love... Maybe they do, but they don't say it... Maybe I should do that too... I prefer to let it all out... Some people just don't care about Valentine's but for me I once dreamt ("angan-angan") of getting a gift from a guy or something, or just having a Valentine's Day outing or something... There are people out there who are as pathetic as me... They either never experience it or willing to experience it... I'm both... But, everytime I watch Bollywood films, I just wished life would be that way... Sing & dance in the open if you're happy... Cry or laugh all you want to... And never be afraid to express your feelings...
Maybe I am naive & young... Though I'm soon to be 19, I admit I've not experienced what is the taste of a 1st kiss, romance, Valentine's Day gift... I never been kissed before, held hands, cuddled when you cry, a red rose, dance with the one you love, laugh like mad woman when you're in love, cry when you're totally in love, sing to a love song, being in love with the guy of your dreams and to be loved and loving it....
Now, the only feelings I know are anger and disappointment...
No matter how much hurt I am experiencing, I am enduring it...
To ADAM,
Hey, buddy, hope you realise that life is always full of shit... No matter what it is... A true friend will always be there to coax you or to cheer you up... I may not be that true friend now, but I hope to un-shit your life... If you have any problems or troubles, do not be afraid/sad/angry, I know it sounds so easy for me to say... But it's best you let it all out... I wanna be there to help you up when you're down... Besides, you got my sis to help you up too... Cheers, buddy! <33
... I may not be perfect, but nothing will stop me to be perfect... Hah!
I know there are some people out there who faced more troubles than me... I know I have a cousin who is always in deep shit by getting involved with a married colleague who is 2 years older than him... Though he tried not to be caught up, she kept causing him misery... If avoidance is the only way to let it go, why should we be thinking about avoiding when we still feel the missing part? If hating is the only way to forget, why should we still love the person when he's not belong to you? Guess the only way is to hang out with your girlfriends/boyfriends (respectively if you're a gal/guy) and keep yourself busy...?
Life is just superficial, if you feel like shit, there's always someone you can talk to... Nothing in this world is great, if you are imperfect, it's okay, you're unique to me... Love thyself... Cos there ain't anyone out there who can love you for you, it's just you who can love yourself...
I wish life would be more beautiful... Like how I lived my life before all these shits... I wish life is beautiful... Having to see the sunrise and the sunset... I wish to love life... I wish I could walk that pathway with the breeze blowing on my face in the morning or evening... I wish I could just see some cute guy who just smile at me out of nowhere... I wish I could just listen to nice songs early in the music... I wish I could just get some laughs from my girlfriends some time when we hang out and don't feel out of place... I wish I could have lots of fun with my classmates and schoolmates... I wish LIFE IS JUST AS BEAUTIFUL AS BEFORE...
+peace
